Review by: Mr. Uric Acid
"Yeah, this is Uric Acid. I wanted to give Lifetones a ZERO-Star Review, but it wouldn't let me. I can't stand them! They're LITERALLY killing me. Ok, they're 'balancing me out,' but still! All I want to do is create some needle-like crystals in people's joints and muscles to give them extreme discomfort and amplify the pain of fibromyalgia, gout, joint pain, and arthritis. Is that really SO bad? And with Lifetones being all 'affordable' and 'simple to use,' I'M the victim here!
I'M the one suffering when people put Lifetones' natural ingredients and healthy minerals in their bodies. So I'm giving Phytotherapist and Founder of Lifetones Vincent Tones a thumb down and I'm giving Lifetones a thumb down... if I had thumbs, that is. What am I, Uric Acid, supposed to do with my life if I'm no longer inflicting pain on people's joints and muscles??
Mr. Uric Acid"
Response by: Vincent Tones, Phytotherapist and Founder of Lifetones
"Thanks for your Review, Uric Acid. Never in our wildest dreams did we think we'd LOVE getting a 1-Star Review. In fact, we might even try to figure out how to allow you to leave a zero-star review because I, Vincent Tones, all of us at Lifetones, the Millions of users of Lifetones, and the ingredients in the 1.2 Million bottles sold are ALL happy that YOU are unhappy with our product. That was the whole point! We'd rather you, Uric Acid, be unhappy so that Millions of people can be VERY happy! So that Millions of people don't have to worry about pain getting in the way of enjoying life!
So again, thank you Uric Acid for your harsh review. It's really appreciated. Since you believe you're a victim, I'd like to share with you who your 'bullies' are (or as we call them, 'heroes'):
Stinging Nettle loves utilizing its chlorophyll and powerful alkaloids to naturally neutralize Mr. Uric Acid.
Celery Seed, my personal favorite, loves to outpower Uric Acid by being a super-strong pH balancing herb.
Alfalfa enjoys replenishing people with every mineral known to man, preventing Uric Acid's needle-like crystals.
Birch and Willow keep joints and muscles safe and comfortable while the other ingredients pick on Uric Acid.
Devil's Claw does the 'nothing to see here' act using its herbal alkalizing and cleansing properties.
Boswellia is the wise old resin keeping joints and muscles happy and free from Uric Acid's wrath for centuries.
So there you have it, Mr. Uric Acid. Your review tells all of us at Lifetones that we're doing something right! That our quest to help people suffering from joint pain, fibromyalgia, gout, and arthritis is working!
Phytotherapist and Founder of Lifetones"