You Know What’s More Painful Than Gout? Lawn Envy

So the other day, I looked out the window and saw my neighbor out there with a pair of scissors trimming the edge of his lawn.

Scissors.
Like a dang haircut.

And of course, his grass is thick, green, and looks like it’s been Photoshopped in. Meanwhile, I’m over here squinting at dry patches and wondering if dandelions count as “natural landscaping.”

For a split second, I thought: Maybe I should go out there and do a little extra yardwork.

And then my big toe twitched like it heard me.
Uric acid said, “Not today.”

🌿 The Lawn War We Didn’t Sign Up For

Look, I love a nice yard. I like sitting outside, enjoying a breeze, maybe pulling a weed or two while I water the tomatoes. But the pressure to keep up with that one neighbor? The one with zero weeds, symmetrical flower beds, and a mower that purrs like a kitten?

It’s real.

But let me tell you: I’ve hurt myself more trying to “just tidy up the yard” than I ever have at the gym.

Why? Because yardwork is sneaky. It doesn’t feel like much… until you’re two hours in, dehydrated, knees throbbing, and wondering why your fingers are locked into a claw from pulling weeds.

💡 Move Smarter, Not Harder

I’ve had to learn how to make peace with a yard that’s “good enough” — because the price of pushing myself too hard is a full-blown flare-up.

Here’s how I keep my joints (and pride) intact:

🧊 1. Work in short bursts

Set a timer for 20–30 minutes. That’s it. Rest after. This isn’t a CrossFit class — your yard doesn’t need to be finished in one go.

🪣 2. Drink more water than you think you need

I keep a giant bottle nearby and sip while I work. Dehydration is one of the fastest ways to invite joint pain, especially in the summer.

🪑 3. Use a small stool or knee pad

If you’re weeding or planting, sit or kneel gently — don’t hunch. My back used to scream louder than my knees before I figured this one out.

💊 4. Take your Lifetones before and after

I treat it like a workout. Because it is. My go-to is capsules when I’m moving around, but if I’m feeling stiff, I’ll use the tincture for a faster kick.

🔄 5. Alternate tasks

Don’t pull weeds for an hour straight. Switch it up. Trim for a bit, water a few plants, sweep a little — keep things moving so no one joint gets overloaded.

😂 Real Talk: Your Lawn Doesn’t Care

I finally told myself: “I’d rather be sitting on my porch with a cold drink and a comfortable knee… than win the imaginary Yard of the Month award.”

And you know what? No one’s judged me. In fact, a neighbor walked by the other day and said, “Your yard looks peaceful.”

Peaceful! I’ll take that over “perfect” any day.

So if you’re staring out your window right now wondering if you should push through the pain to rake that corner again — don’t.
Your joints are doing their best. You can, too. Just smarter.

And hey — even if you don’t have a yard, the same rules apply for any weekend project that has you moving more than usual.

Here’s to shady spots, comfy chairs, and only pulling the weeds you feel like pulling.

Take care of yourself,
Brandon